WOMEN GETS IN BAR FIGHT THEN IMMEDIATELY DUMPED INTO CHEMICAL WASTE FACILITY THEN EXPOSED TO CROCIDILE SEX

"She's made of tin foil and wrapping paper and was queen of a fire ant colony. When she stings, her ass is ripe for some $%*@ation! [CENSORED] of the Miami Dolphins" - Preacher husband

A man. Shot her. In the head. Good.

But what's next for old Murky Wiggler, mother of a child with tentacles for eyes?

Special ed. "I always felt I could offer something to the world and now I think I can truly influence some people... little people that is, who need our help." She enrolled at Clement High School next fall and will be the first special ed student, ever. Often times, she refers to "little people" as either cactus plants or broken door glass. We interviewed her husband.

"If you jam a pencil into your hand, really hard and close your eyes and think of staplers... and how they could produce a really good movie? You'll find why I killed her. Er... I meant, enslave her into uh... death, er... medicational death. That's better than normal death. Normal death is like, dying. I ran out of Mentos. Beef jerky... anyone there?" - Matt Damon

Planets explode, birds spurt up vomit at will and tables move themselves - that's all facts. Facts with no destiny can unravel their presence. Just like rasins.

Guess what though? We found out something elusive. Matt Damon, was right.

We told Murky of Matt's blabbering of his mouth that opene and closed wisdom by which walruses can grow up to be 1st class social rejects. How did she fair out?

"He was so good, so poop-smelling, too. It was just a weakness. I think a lot of times he had high blood pressure that he'd never go enough to the mailbox to get medicine for it. He was a catipillar, and that's the thing," she said.

Chicken.